Trust me, this is not something like a “pre-marital neurosis”
I was thinking if I should add this here, but the love from K and beloved friends made me to.
It was a sun-shining morning and I thought I am going to had a good day. But dark clouds surrounded me when I was in the bus after a cool-down with the noisy world. I started to text people in phone yelling for help with my depression -- this is my second time and I feel this time it’s even stronger . Just couldn’t help crying on bus. I was feeling so bad that I couldn't express in words.
Thank you Dino. You saved my life when I was travelling. K was trying hard to comfort me, but they are repeated. I need to build a new trust and not focusing sharing with one person, I do not want to bother him. But, Dino did a very good comforting job. I found out , along the way, I am relying on you too. I just kept on texting you , whenever I feel ‘ not right’.
Raymond, I was so happy seeing you after the shower with my eyes. I was just going to the shop by luck, then I saw you. Your smile, your tailor-made beverage, I feel you welcomed me, welcomed me to be one of your special friend in your life.
K, I am sorry. I am too heavy. You are such a happy person and you just kept on wanting me to be happy as well. But that’s not supposed to be your responsibility. You were trying hard to bring me out of this place. But of my sickness, I didn’t seem getting much in to it. I am so sorry that I have been giving you so much hard time. PLEASE do not use all your energy on me. You will be too tired , too much pressure…
Last night, I couldn’t fall asleep cause the surroundings was full of fear, I am so scare of hearing sounds, but the hug made me feel secure and finally I could sleep.
Yet, the clouds are still here with me today.
What should I do?
b.
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